“So here I am”

Well… it’s been a minute since my last post and with good reason, so I think. The reason why is not of any importance to this post, but how I feel is.

This is the lowest point in my life I have ever not wanted to experience. The emotional and physical pain is beyond my own comprehension. With that said and out of the way… I’m posting this to reassure some dear online friends that I’m still standing and to say, “Thank you” to a woman that I have recently met. She took the time to share one of her lowest moments in life with me including some of the music that assisted her walk through that moment. It’s up coming.

There is this slight difference in our beliefs. She is of faith and I am not. And… honestly I don’t know where I stand on the topic of God. I used to say, referring to God, “We have never been formally introduced.” That got really old after awhile. So I started answering with, “I want to believe, but I don’t.” That just confused the hell out of people, no pun intended. I may never know what I’m looking for until the day of my death and I’m OK with that.

don’t know why I’m trying to explain my confusing non belief to you other than to say that this woman respects my confusion, as I respect her faith. It’s that simple.

Following are the lyrics and the video. The post title “So here I am” is a lyric from the song.

I just need to share this with all of you.

Here is something that most of you already know. This site is not, nor will it ever be a venue for any form of discrimination, because I believe that we all do belong to each other.



MercyMe ‘The Hurt & The Healer’ (3:28)

4 thoughts on ““So here I am”

  1. Thank you for this post, it’s brave and honest. I’m not quite at the point of saying ‘here I am’ as I can’t quite (yet) muster the courage to put my name to my confessional blog. I’ve only recently stopped running and hiding so I guess I’m making progress. I understand your ‘want to believe but don’t’ position. I found the song moving and realised that I find glory, majesty, grace and mercy in landscapes, nature and people. That’s not so different. An elder from an Afro-Caribbean church in the UK once called me one of the most Christian people he knew even though he knew I don’t believe. God or no God we still share more with our fellow humans than divide us (to paraphrase the sadly missed Jo Cox MP)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. Online communication allows us to have no schedule and no obligations. It’s become too easy to bow out with no explanation. I think a little accountability is still in order.
      I’ll mention my beliefs or non beliefs about once a year. It works for me.


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